Not sure how many of you listen to AM talk radio in the morning, but Lansing has a new morning-drive comedy team. It's called The Big Show and can be heard on WJIM 1240AM from 5:30am to 9am. Listening to The Big Show is akin to watching the O'Reilly Factor--they try their damnest to sound like they know what they're talking about, but they end up sounding like pompous douchebags. Receiving top-billing is an Agent 007 wannabe named Michael Shiels. Mikey has been annoying Lansing residents with his nasal whining and wheezing since he arrived in Lansing mid-summer 2006--ready, willing, and able to dispense his third-rate J.P. McCarthy impression to the listening public. I'm not sure if it is intentional on his part, but at times he can be quite funny. He makes me laugh. Alot. Usually I am just laughing at him though. Shiels recently married a local teeth-whitening specialist that he affectionately refers to as "Dr. Christine: Dentist to the Stars," as if Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie fly in from the West Coast to have their bicuspids and molars cleaned. Around the Capital City, Mike is known as Lansing's own version of "Star Jones" because he constantly manages to interject the names of a few of his pet sponsors into daily monologue while trying his best to act cool. A great example of this is a paraphrasing of one of Mike's informative self-disclosures: "After the show I might go to the MAC to work out, then to Dublin Square for lunch, maybe go down to the Capital. Sometimes Dr. Christine takes me to a MSU basketball game, then maybe stop at Dusty's for some wine. I got my bizzy!" What the hell is a bizzy? Some new STD? There may just be a nasty vaccination in Mike's future. And what man refers to his wife as "Doctor?" Mikey cracks me up!Second banana on The Big Show is Tim Nestor, better known around Lansing as "Fester." Fester is the WJIM sports reporter, but often rambles on about his knowledge of history and sports. A proud Republican, Fester loves talking about his dinner dates with Michigan state Senator Tom George and has boldly predicted that Mittens Romney will be the "next president of the United States." Come on Fes get real--like a guy who stuffs his beautiful Irish Setter in a dog crate, straps it to the roof of the family truckster, then proceeds to drive 12 hours from Boston to Ontario with his vehicle covered in sticky, slimy, bister-hued puppy goo could ever become President. Or maybe I'm confusing Romney with Bush. Or Bush with the puppy goo.
Even the callers get in on the fun occasionally. There is one paranoid, love-starved Aricept-dependent old man that calls himself "Dave from Dimondale." "Dave"--if that's his real name--supplies The Big Show with secret "insider" political analysis of local and national importance. You know when "Dave from Dimondale" calls the show, something BIG is happening, like the time he reported that "Those Dems are demanding clean water, better education, and bridges that won't collapse. And Hillary won't be President since old bigots like me won't vote for her because she wears pantsuits instead of dresses."
So if you're looking for a good chuckle while on your drive to work in the morning, tune in to The Big Show. Howard Stern, you better look out, there's a new King of Comedy hitting the airwaves of your hometown!
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