Ringo Starr, NASCAR, and Rachel Ray

Cookie has been upset with me and my blog lately. First, she has her panties in a bundle over the whole "Titties, Toes & Tater-Tot Tuesday" thing. Come on, Cookie. What guy (or woman for that matter) can't appreciate a few titties and some tater-tots on occasion? The nasty toe thing? Well, that's not really for me. Although I love to see nicely tanned, painted, and hairless toes on women, the posting of toes is really for ******, who is obsessed with volar dactyls and digits.

Second, Cookie would rather read more of my primary-source stories than re-posts. But looking for gratifying and meaningful employment in Lansing has been extremely taxing on my frail male ego and psyche and as such, I am just too damn lazy to write something original. But please don't worry yourselves over my plight--a few extra doses of NyQuil over the next days will only serve to enhance my REM time and my writing abilities.

But I did hear an interesting story this morning to comment on. It seems that Dunkin Donuts was planning a new ad campaign starring EVOO-freak Rachel Ray.



FOX News reporter and radical right-wing blogger Michelle Malkin took issue with Rachel's black and white checkered scarf which according to Malkin, looked a bit too similar to a black and white article of clothing that is traditionally worn by Arab men (like Yasser Arafat).



See the resemblance? Malkin, complained in her blog that the black and white scarf wrapped around her looked like a kaffiyeh, the traditional Arab headdress and said that such black and white scarves have come to symbolize Muslim extremism and terrorism.

I love Michelle Malkin because she--like I--can stretch the most far-reaching limits of her imagination to make the most completely unbelievable and ludicrous connections seem almost plausible. I do it for entertainment purposes. She does it because she is certifiably insane. Here are a few photos of the woman I love!








Since Michelle is of Filipino-descent, maybe this is a good time to make some crude Filipino remarks! Would you look at the size of those incisors or are those walrus tusks? She could suck a cumquat through a picket fence with those choppers! QUESTION: What do you call a Filipino contortionist? ANSWER: A Manila folder. Ironically, Webster's Dictionary defines a Malkin as "an untidy woman, a scarecrow, a ragged puppet, or a grotesque effigy." Nuff' said.

But as I read this story, I realized that this "terrorist-symbolism" situation goes far beyond Rachel Ray. Then it hit me! We are surrounded by terrorist cells, one of the biggest being NASCAR and motorsports in general. Really! Racers with black and white flags! Kids riding bicycles with black and white flags! They are everywhere!









Terrorists are everywhere! This is a logical connection, right? Then I thought back to the HBO special that I watched last week. An interview of Ringo Starr. Ringo has fashioned himself after black and white kaffiyeh-wearing Yasser Arafat! Look! Both Arafat and Ringo have beards and moustaches!





See? See? They even look the same! Remember all the rumors that by playing The Beatles albums backwards you could hear satanic messages? They were wrong! You would hear Islamo-Fascist propaganda! Thanks Michelle! Now I will be avoiding Dunkin Donuts, racing, and The Beatles and be ever-vigilant in my search for Islamo-Fascists!

This Modern World

Roddy Frame (of Aztec Camera) -- Oblivious (Acoustic)

Memories...

Who Is Michael Shiels?

Mike is the host of WJIM 1240-AMs morning show, The Big Show. Here is part of his biography from www.golfpodium.com:

Michael Patrick Shiels has covered the world of golf and its major players in print, on radio and on television, and offers behind the scenes tales. Shiels wrote and produced features for ESPN's "Inside the PGA TOUR," and has authored five golf-related books, including "Good Bounces and Bad Liesthe Autobiography of Ben Wright." The revealing collaborative effort with Wright, the former CBS- TV golf analyst, was characterized by the Los Angeles Times as "Possibly the best sports book ever", while the Washington Times wryly compared Shiels and Wright to Hemingway and Fitzgerald.

Comparing Shiels to Hemingway? I found this example of Mikey's writing ability on a local website:

Dear Lucy -
I have distrubed on my honeymoon (and my first vacation in two years) because of the furor caused by your web posting protesting Saul Anuzis guest hosting my WJIM AM 1240 morning radio show.
I'd like to calm everyone down and alert you that Mark Brewer was offered to co-host with Saul, as they do when they debate every Tuesday on the show. There have been plenty of occasions when Mark Brewer was a guest on the show without Saul, as well. In addition, just off the top of my head, we have recently had the following guests on the program" Sen. Carl Levin, Sen. Debbie Stabenow, Cong. Bart Stupak. Cong. Carl Levin, weekly interviews with Michigan Senate Democratic Leader Mark Schauer, State Sen. Gretchen Whitmer, Mayor Virg Bernero, Cong. Dennis Kucnich, State Rep. Ed Clemente, Gov. Jennifer Granholm, weekly interviews with First Gentleman Dan Mulhern, (who was also offered to guest host and has done so in the past), State Sen Gleason, and many more democrats.
I am a non-partisan host...and have worked hard to maintain that position...even abstaining from voting in the primary.
I think, in fairness, I deserve the opportunity for everyone on MichiganLiberal.com to read this.
Thank you.
Michael Patrick Shiels



Non-partisan? Thanks for making me laugh this morning, Mikey!

Titties, Toes And Tater-Tot Tuesday

Bob Barr - 2008 Libertarian Presidential Candidate

The Minutiae King spent part of the weekend watching the fascinating process of the Libertarian Party nominate their 2008 Presidential candidate.

Bob Barr's nomination reminded me of this great scene from Borat. And then it reminded me that it's Titties, Toes and Tater-Tot Tuesday.

Monday With McCain

Thanks for the question, you little jerk. -(John McCain, after being asked by a high school student if he was too old to be president. For good measure, McCain then threatened to draft him.)

This Modern World

I Did NOT Have Sexual Relations With That Woman...

You know how teens have oral (or, wow, anal) sex instead of SEX sex in order to maintain that they are "technical" virgins? (As in, "I did not have sex with that hockey player"?)

Well, turns out the grown-ups had it wrong. Again.

According to the latest data (PDF) from the Guttmacher Institute, teens don't have "nonvaginal" sex in order to preserve their virginity. They have it along with losing their virginity. (And a bunch more after that, apparently. By six months after their first vaginal sex, 81 percent of adolescents have also had oral sex. By three years after, 92 percent.)

The main finding is this: "Both oral and anal sex are much more common among teens who have already had vaginal intercourse than among those who have not, suggesting that teens initiate a range of sexual activities around the same time, rather than substitute one for another.

"'There is a widespread belief that teens engage in nonvaginal forms of sex, especially oral sex, as a way to be sexually active while still claiming that technically, they are virgins,' says study author Laura Lindberg. 'However, our research shows that this supposed substitution of oral sex for vaginal sex is largely a myth. There is no good evidence that teens who have not had intercourse engage in oral sex with a series of partners.'"

Or, as another researcher put it to the Washington Post, "Most teens don't have oral sex until they have had vaginal sex."

This data contains more than just the basis for "A Very Special Hannah Montana," experts say. Rather, it has "clear policy implications," says Lindberg, noting that sex education and counseling need to take into account the even-fuller-than-we-thought spectrum of teen sexual behavior, especially when it comes to preventing sexually transmitted infection (STI). "The federal government's exclusive emphasis on abstinence-only-until-marriage programs does not give teens the skills and information they need to be safe." (Point taken, but if it's STI risk we're worried about, we always knew they had oral/anal sex, regardless of the timing. Not sure how this data should make the safer-sex message that much different.)

What it does suggest, the Post notes, is that we may also have had it wrong when we blasted the abstinence-only folks for "driving" teens to oral sex as, you know, something to do before marriage.

Still, bottom line: When it comes, at very least, to STI prevention -- pretty crucial these days among teens -- oral sex and anal sex are no mere technicality.

Two-Face McCain

Senator John McCain has a lobbyist problem. This past week, as several aides resigned because of their work representing unsavory governments, his campaign implemented a new policy governing these potential conflicts of interest. That led to the departure of additional staffers, including former Rep. Thomas Loeffler, a key adviser and fundraiser.

The McCain camp has insisted that the resignations are nothing more than evidence of the Senator's sincerity in combating outside influences. But the truth, reform groups say, is far from adulatory: McCain's current policy simply doesn't compare to the ethical commitments he championed earlier in his career.

Just twelve years ago, when McCain was politically recuperating from his involvement in the Keating Five scandal, he introduced legislation that would, if implemented today, cripple his presidential campaign.

In March 1996 and again the following year, McCain offered a bill that, in his own words, "would ban a candidate or a candidate's authorized committee from paying registered lobbyists."

In order to root out the moneyed influences, McCain continued, Congress had to unequivocally cut off the flow of campaign cash.

"Registered lobbyists who work for campaigns as fundraisers clearly represent a conflict of interest," he added. "When a campaign employs an individual who also lobbies that Member, the perception of undue and unfair influence is raised."

The legislation never passed.

Fast-forward a dozen years and the political dynamics have clearly changed. Now the GOP standard bearer, McCain has 115 lobbyists either working or raising money on his behalf. Many of these individuals have taken a leave of absence from these positions in order to help with the campaign. But others have held, simultaneously, fundraising and lobbyists positions.

In addition, the Senator has 70 registered lobbyists who have bundled money on his behalf - raising at least $100,000. On top of this, the Center for Responsive Politics reports that the Arizona Republican has received more than $610,000 in direct donations - not bundled cash - from lobbyists.

His recent, self-implemented, campaign policy is designed to counteract the image that such a fundraising apparatus suggests. "No person with a McCain Campaign title or position," the document reads, "may participate in a 527 or other independent entity that makes public communications that support or oppose any presidential candidate."

But critics and reform groups not only argue that the policy is too little too late, but that McCain can no longer claim the ethical high ground on which he has built much of his political career.

"I think because Mr. McCain believes himself to be an ethical man he believes you can't question his ethics. But the fact of the matter is, he has talked a good game but he isn't walking it. And you can't be the guy who positions himself as a reformer and then plays fast and loose with the rules," said Melanie Sloan, executive director of Citizens for Responsibility and Ethics in Washington. "I think he was sincere after Keating Five, and he obviously really believed in campaign finance reform, because he pushed it when it really didn't helped him. But I think over time that's changed. At the time he [made this speech] he wasn't thinking how it would affect his presidential run."

Moreover, they add, it is not just the quantity of lobbyists who have surrounded McCain. It is the quality. Indeed, some of the very people funding the Arizona Republicans run for the White House are those who would be interested in favors should he get there. As the New York Times reported in April 2008, several of McCain's bundlers have business interests before the Senator's own Commerce Committee:

Kirk Blalock, of the lobbying firm Fierce, Isakowitz & Blalock, leads Mr. McCain's young professional group and has raised over $250,000 for him; his clients include Sprint Nextel and Viacom.

Kyle McSlarrow, chief of the National Cable and Telecommunications Association, the lobbying arm for the cable industry, has raised over $100,000 for Mr. McCain. He and others in the cable industry recently butted heads with Mr. McCain over a proposal that would allow customers to pick and choose which channels they received.

McCain's supporters insist that his ethical compass is sound enough to ignore these potential conflicts of interest. And indeed, as McSlarrow can testify, raising money for McCain's campaign doesn't always bring with it a return of legislative favors.

"When it comes to McCain," Wayne Berman, another McCain bundler whose clients are affected by McCain's chairmanship at Commerce, told the New York Times, "there's just absolutely no concern whatsoever that he is going to be influenced by lobbyists. He takes on issues as he sees them. It doesn't matter whether his best friends are on the other side or not."

But as it stands now, critics believe that McCain's bevy of lobbyists represents a political liability. On Tuesday, Moveon.org put out one in what will likely be a series of campaign commercials, cataloging the "worlds worst tyrants" for whom Charlie Black, one of McCain's top aides, had previously worked. The list includes Ferdinand Marcos, Mobuto Sese Seko, Angolan rebel Jonas Savimbi and Ahmad Chalabi.

"Charlie Black said he didn't do anything wrong," the spot says. "John McCain should tell Black he did."

I Always Have To Laugh...

...when I see the Republican stalwarts talking about their "conservative revolution." Take the following from Cal Thomas, who certainly provides a laugh-a-minute:

"Which of the principles articulated by Ronald Reagan, and the conservative revolution he led, does the GOP believe has failed? Lower taxes? Reduced spending and smaller government? Self-reliance? Strong defense? Defeating our enemies so they will fear and respect us, instead of appeasing them in hopes that they might like us? If such principles remain valid, why don't more Republicans articulate them?"


Uh, when did the Republicans give us "smaller" government? During the Republican "revolution," government authorities were given much more power than before. Our prison population in the past two decades has grown from about 300,000 to more than two million, mostly because of the failed Republican Drug War that Ronald Reagan initiated.

Thomas has supported the war in Iraq, which is responsible for much of the growth in spending. Is Thomas against torture, the decimation of habeas corpus, or the way that Americans have been creating havoc abroad?

No, in the end, being a Republican is about the power of the American state and nothing else. Thomas has been the cheerleader for the Leviathan State for many years, and he is not about to change now.

Cal Thomas is such a dickhead.

Read Cal's column here.

Titties, Toes And Tater Tot Tuesday

Cops Say: Don't Work. Make More Money By Becoming a Totalitarian Snitch

Next time you invite your neighbor over to share a beer or your girlfriends over for dinner club ask yourself, "are they in need of a few extra bucks?"

“Two or three arrests per week, you could make $700, $750 per week,” Sergeant Self said. “You could make better than a minimum-wage job.”

The police state loves recessions. People hard up for money are turning in their family, neighbors, and anybody else for some quick cash payments from the snitch state.

Some Crime Stoppers coordinators say their program appeals to community spirit and emphasize that not everyone who calls is after money. But their advertising makes no bones about the benefits of a good tip.

“Crime doesn’t pay but we do,” say the mobile billboards cruising Jacksonville, Fla. A poster in Jackson, Tenn., draws a neat equation: “Ring Ring + Bling Bling = Cha-Ching.” The bling, in this case, is a pair of handcuffs.

The New York Times celebrates the mindless, little totalitarians who become informants to help pay the bills. As the writers of the article note, the snitches are "creative." Karen DeCoster argued a long time ago that there's always been a totalitarian force amongst the masses, and what better way to fan the flames of fear and grow state dependency than to offer up depreciating dollars to a bunch of financially needy and mindless losers.

Monday With McCain

I don’t think Americans are concerned if we’re there for one hundred years or a thousand years or ten thousand years. McCain commenting on how Americans view the U.S. occupation of Iraq

The REAL McCain...2

The Straight Talk Express is derailing...

Voters #1 Concern Is Economy

The No. 1 issue today is the economy. Sen. McCain straightforwardly said he is not up on economics. When Congress wanted to give the economy a boost by giving $300 to $1,200 back to taxpayers, Sen. McCain said maybe it would be better to instead give a corporate tax cut to stimulate the economy.

Then, when he gave his future economic goals speech last month, he said that he would grow the economy to increase revenue. Details? Not at this time.

Maybe McCain doesn't know it, but the next president, upon taking office, will face an interest payment on the national debt of $1 billion a day. This is interest only, and does not include principal.

Thanks to President Bush, the national debt has increased during his 7 1/2 years in office from $4.98 trillion to $9.86 trillion. If the Afghanistan and Iraqi wars continue after Jan. 20, 2009, that interest payment will increase daily. Remember this is the first war we have financed by borrowing money.

Do you think McCain can handle our economic problems?

This Modern World

Titties, Toes And Tater Tot Tuesday

Monday With McCain

There are neighborhoods in Baghdad where you and I could walk through those neighborhoods today. --prior to visiting a Baghdad market while being flanked by 22 soldiers, 10 armored Humvees, and two Apache attack helicopters