IM presents the parts of the Chris Wallace interview with Sarah Palin that got left on the cutting room floor.

"Hang on Wallace. Let Mommy's medication kick in before we get this show on the road."

"Oh yeah! That's the stuff! Bring it on girly man, the Mama Grizzly is ready to lay down some gibberish on ya!"

"No I did NOT get it wrong about Paul Revere! Let me explain something to you! Sarah Palin does NOT learn history!  History learns that it needs to change to match Sarah Palin's version of how things happened! And right now my minions are teaching that same lesson over at Paul Revere's Wikipedia page."

"Wait! Are YOU confronting me with facts that conflict with the answer I just gave you? Since when do you have the balls to do that?"

"If you try to embarass me with facts one more time Wallace I will come to your studio and use my cobra strike on you nutsack. And don't think I won't! Have you ever wondered why Todd has such a high voice?"

"Yes Piper did get a little cranky on the bus tour. But when I got her back onto the bus I calmly explained to her that this was Mommy's publicity tour, paid for by Mommy's friends, and that if she messed it up Mommy would send her back to Wasillla with the OTHER ungrateful little brats who cannot hold it together for five measly days!"

"I apologize if I stepped on any -- any of that PR that Mitt Romney needed or wanted that day. I do sincerely apologize. I didn't mean to step on anybody's toes. Did that sound sincere? Do you think Romney will buy that, the big baby, or should I do another take?"

"Did you see how big my jugs looked in that water bra? If THAT does not bring me up in the polls I don't know what will!  No really, I don't know what will?"

"Are we done? Well that went well I think.  Let me know when you want me back on your show to boost your ratings again, and next time DON'T try any of those gotcha questions! If I had not had this teleprompter, which keeps reflecting off of my fake glasses, I might have looked foolish. You guys are editing this part out right? Well gotta go, stage two of my medication just kicked in and I don't want to have to make my people change the Wikipedia page for George Washington next. Whoop, whoop! "

(H/T to Election 2012 for the pics)