Jonathon Capehart has Sarah Palin's number.

Courtesy of the Washington Post:

Palin told her supporters via e-mail that her “One Nation Tour” bus would descend upon the Hawkeye State. The part of her missive that elicited side-eyes from me was this. “The heartland is perfect territory for more of the One Nation Tour as we put forth efforts to revitalize the fundamental restoration of America by highlighting our nation’s heart, history, and founding principles,” Palin wrote. 

What, pray tell, are “efforts to revitalize the fundamental restoration of America”? Did I somehow miss her detailed plan to pay off the nation’s $14.3 trillion debt and create jobs for the growing ranks of the unemployed? Americans want solutions to the worst economy in their lifetimes. They are hungry for leaders who have the courage to present realistic plans to turn things around. But if some of those Americans are looking to Palin for said solutions, they are bound to starve. 

Remember, no matter what she says or does, Palin is not running for president. The half-term governor of Alaska parlayed her 2008 vice presidential nomination into a bankroll-busting career as a best-selling author and reality-television star who is accountable to no one but herself for what she says and does. As a star, Palin is terrific. She’s a natural talent. And she is well aware of and comfortable in exercising her ability to steal other people’s spotlight. That she would give up that kind of power for the confines of the campaign trail is unfathomable.

Now why does that summation sound familiar? 

Oh yeah, because THAT is pretty much what I have been saying all along.


And I have to say that with Bristol's new reality show, Mercede's Playboy interview, the birth of a new grandbaby raising embarrassing questions, and Levi and Joe's books about to hit the stands, I find it even less likely she will declare than I ever did in the past.

However, and I feel obligated to always add this caveat, this IS Sarah Palin, who might very well be willing to launch a Presidential campaign solely to prove her critics wrong.

Yes, she IS that petty.

However I have no idea who Palin can convince to accompany her on the campaign trail if she WERE to declare her candidacy.  Piper starts school next Tuesday (Yes she is going to school, one of my sources saw her registering), Bristol is filming her reality show, Track has a new baby to care for (And has said he wants NOTHING to do with her political activities), Willow is completely uncooperative, and Trig is much too big, and much too fussy to take along for photo ops.

That leaves only Sarah's parents (And really WHO finds them interesting anymore?), and Todd (Who I imagine has it written into his contract that he only has to do a handful of these appearances each year).

Let's face it, Palin simply will not launch a campaign without some family member to use as a shield. That alone might be the determining factor that keeps her stomping around her Wasilla compound in frustration, rather than out on the campaign trail stumbling over reporter's questions and generally making an ass out of herself.

Michele Bachmann the living embodiment of everything Sarah Palin pretends to be.

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Now take note, I am about to do something I will likely NEVER do again. And that is to give Michele Bachmann a compliment.

The fact that she took in twenty three foster children is exceedingly admirable in my opinion, since that is one of the most difficult jobs in the world.

My only caveat to this is if she did such a thing to indoctrinate these children into her religious belief, then I take it all back.  I have seen PLENTY of Evangelical types take foster children into their homes and then swiftly impose their own stringent moral demands on them until the kids either run away, and end up back in the system, or buckle under and learn to suppress their individuality in exchange for a warm place to sleep and clothes on their backs.

Now I have no evidence that Bachmann was this kind of foster parent, but from what I know of her, I would not be terribly surprised. (By the way, I am in NO way suggesting that all religious people who become foster parents force their beliefs on the children they bring into their homes. In fact the majority of them take great pains to respect the religious customs that the children they take in already observe. I am speaking of a very small, but very aggressive, group of foster parents who feel that they are called by God to bring new souls to Jesus, and have found foster care a very useful tool for achieving that end.)

But leaving the possibility that there is something admirable about Michele Bachmann aside, I have to say that EVERYTHING else about her should scare the hell out of anybody who thinks she might have a real shot of making it to the White House. 

Which she doesn't by the way.

Piper the Diaper gets a promotion from child care to security staff.

Raw Video: Sarah Palin In Philly: MyFoxPHILLY.com

I have to say that if this were MY child body checking an adult she would find herself on that RV so fast it would make her little head spin, and she would be getting a lecture on showing respect to her elders and basic good manners.

Of course I would NEVER have subjected my family to this three ring circus in the first place, since I am a REAL family values progressive, and not a pathetic phony like the Grizzled Mama.

Now for all of you who came over the other day to give me a hard time about reporting that Piper has been described as a "diva" at her school, what do you have to say now?

(If the video will not play you can try visiting here.)