The Magic of Winnie the Pooh.

Before I begin this post I just want to mention that I used to be a power lifting and martial arts champion.

In other words I lifted really heavy things and punched people in the heads for trophies, and sometimes cash prizes.

Those are very, very manly things, I am sure you will agree.

Did you get that manly part?

Okay then, on to Winnie the Pooh.

In those emotionally overwhelming  moments when I first held my newborn daughter, I made a decision.

Well the first thing I thought was that somebody needed to take her and hose her off a little because she was covered in goo and it was making me gag a little, but the second thing that I thought was that I was going to make sure my daughter was exposed to the best things that life had to offer, which included reading to her from the classics of literature. (I actually wrote about that in an earlier post.)

So the very first book that I bought for us to read together was this one.

 

As you can no doubt tell from the tears in the cover and the weathered overall look, this book has been read, and reread, many, many times.

However I was in such a hurry to start reading the "classics" to my new born daughter that I literally purchased this book, which is NOT the watered down Disney version by the way, just days after her birth.

Though I was completely convinced that my daughter would have the IQ of a genius, it did occur to me that the current level of her comprehension might make this unsuitable for bedtime reading for at LEAST a few more weeks.

So to prepare her for the first step on her long literary adventure I bought this:

I know, isn't that adorable?

However in the baby instruction book that I bought, (because for some reason she did not come with one), it said that my daughter's eyes may not be able to focus on the mobile very well for the first few months, so I decided to buy one of these for her to sleep on:

And, of course, one of these:

Only the original Pooh bear would suffice for my daughter.

(You don't think I overdid it do you?)

So long story short, my daughter was raised around Winnie the Pooh, and Winnie the Pooh paraphernalia, and yes, she grew up LOVING the Winnie the Pooh stories. (So yes parents OCCASIONALLY the things you want your children to do they will actually do. Remember, I said occasionally!)

So let's fast forward about twenty three years into the future, to two days ago.

There I was surfing the net, looking for adventure movies full of action, and violence (and hopefully some tasteful nudity), to watch this upcoming weekend, when I happened to notice that this movie was also playing at the local theater.

Have you ever smelled a smell, or heard a sound, and suddenly found yourself transported to a different time and place? A distant, happy, nearly forgotten place which seems to envelope you in warm, soothing memories that quickly dissipate just as you find yourself reaching out to touch them?

Suddenly all thoughts of superheroes, giant transforming robots, and immature scatological comedies completely left my mind and all I wanted was to watch this movie.  This animated, G rated, Saturday matinee friendly movie.

Did I mention I used to be a bouncer at a strip club?  Well I was!

But you know I didn't REALLY want to see this move.........alone.

In fact there was only one way I would actually go through with it and humiliate myself by sitting in a sticky theater with a bunch of over caffeinated preschoolers. And let's face it there was NO WAY my too busy to even text her father back, adult daughter was going to want to watch this movie!

Right?

But I figured it wouldn't hurt to ask, so I did.

"So Honey, I happened to see that there was this new, probably completely screwed up, Winnie the Pooh movie out.  And I was wond..."

"Oh yeah, I was going to ask YOU if you wanted to go to that! I think it looks really good!  Do you remember all of that Winnie the Pooh stuff you bought me?  I kept it and still have all of it in storage! (You do?) So can we go tomorrow?"

"Sure.....I mean....if that is what YOU want? I guess I could find the time."

So it looked like we were going after all.

The only potential obstacle to our plan was that the movie started at 10:15 in the morning, which was the only time I could make it due to work commitments, and my daughter is NOT an early riser. (That kids, is what is known as a HUGE understatement!)

So the next day I decided to start waking my impossible to rouse daughter a whole hour before the movie was supposed to start. (Imagine ripping a giant tree trunk out of the ground, only then imagine that when you turn your back it replants itself and makes you start all over, and you will have SOME idea of what it is like to get my daughter out of bed before noon.)

However right when I had a couple of pots and pans to bang together in my hands, and was walking up to her bedroom door, I noticed that she was already in the bathroom getting ready. (Yeah I admit I had an "Invasion of the Body Snatchers" moment there.)

Before I knew it she was ready to go and we were on our way. On our way to see Winnie the Pooh.  The matinee showing.  My twenty four year old daughter and I. Why was I doing this again?

On the way we managed to catch up on all of the things that we are both too busy to discuss while living in the same house and sleeping only TWO DOORS AWAY FROM EACH OTHER! (Did I mention that she  texts me from inside her room when she wants to tell me something, rather than open the damn door and say "Hey Dad, I have something to tell you?" Well I am mentioning it now.)

When we got to the theater I told her she could get anything to eat she wanted, my treat.

So she did.

Thirty five dollars later (When did theaters start serving Filet Mignon?), we were ready to find our seats.

As anticipated the smallish theater was full of sticky little ankle biters that had apparently just broken out of the cotton candy factory, and were so hopped up on sugar I swear I saw their eyeballs vibrating.  But once the movie started they settled down to only intermittent screams of "Stop touching me!" and the occasional maniacal giggle.

The movie was okay, nothing special.  To be honest I liked the old Disney version a little better, but it was relatively entertaining. You know, for a cartoon.

But just as I was about to lean over and whisper my disappointment into my daughter's ear, I heard her laugh.

It swear it sounded different than her usual laugh, yet also...familiar.

So I glanced over.

It was just for a moment.  One bittersweet, precious, magical moment.

But it was enough.

I am off camping right now, but I thought I would share some pictures and memories with you this Monday morning.

I am away from my computer and can only hope that this posted correctly in my absence.

I do have my I-Phone with me so, if I am still getting service, I can moderate messages and retrieve a stubborn post that might get stuck in the weeds over at Blogger.

The other day my daughter brought me some pictures that I had not seen in years which she had squirreled away in various picture albums. While looking through them I was amazed at how quickly the memories came flowing back.

Not yet three months old but already occupying the center of an entire family's universe.

She knew she was not supposed to go up those stairs, hence that mischievous look.

I blame my daughter for interrupting my early writing career. It is kind of hard to write the next great American novel when SOMEBODY keeps fooling with the typewriter.

It did not make any difference where we were going, she was always excited about riding in the car. "Let's go to outer space Daddy!' "Your wish is my command" I would reply, and off we would go to whatever magical place our imaginations could take us.

We had nothing in those days.  I worked a low paying job, and was constantly struggling to make ends meet, but in my memory they were the very BEST of times.

Sometimes it was just she and I together, playing in the park, watching "Mary Poppins" for the hundredth time, playing dress up while drinking imaginary tea, or simply bike riding around Anchorage together looking for trouble. 

After her mother and I split up, I had a couple of short lived romantic flings. But the only relationship that I ever really put all of my energy into was the one with this gorgeous little girl.

I guess I always knew the others were going to be temporary, but that being Daddy was going to last forever.  And so it has.

Happy Father's Day!

When I woke up this morning my radio alarm was going off. I usually wake up well before my alarm, but this morning I was greeted by the lovely voice of Stevie Nicks, singing "Landslide" which is perhaps one of my all time favorite songs.

Not a bad way to start the morning in my opinion.

Still I had almost forgotten that today was Father's Day. That is until I walked into my office.

This is what I found covering the floor. Apparently my daughter did NOT forget it was Father's Day.

But what do you get the Dad who has everything.

Really?

Yes folks, my daughter does indeed share my somewhat twisted sense of humor.

Just in case you are not familiar with the Shake Weight, you can learn more about it here.

Now you might have thought that was enough for my jokester of a daughter, but you would be wrong.

So yes, apparently my daughter thought it would be very humorous to combine the phallic nature of the Shake Weight with a video of scantily clad women exercising. (Gee you know that DOES sound like a good combination!)

Ha, ha!  Very funny.

But you know sometimes a Dad might want to receive something that is not a joke and let's him know that he is appre.....oh!

Uh..I got a little something in my eye...so....um...Happy Father's Day everyone. I have to go hug my little girl now.

This may be the perfect bedtime book for the parents of children who will NOT go to sleep.

Courtesy of the Guardian:

Written by novelist Adam Mansbach after his own daughter Vivien failed to nod off one night, the book, Go the Fuck to Sleep, combines cutesy rhymes with expletive-ridden pleas. Published by small US press Akashic Books, it was originally due out in October. But after a pirated PDF went viral, striking a chord with exhausted parents and catapulting the 32-page book to the top of Amazon.com's bestseller chart – ahead of memoirs by Tina Fey and Steven Tyler – it has now been pulled forward to June.

"The eagles who soar through the sky are at rest / And the creatures who crawl, run and creep. / I know you're not thirsty. That's bullshit. Stop lying. / Lie the fuck down, my darling, and sleep," writes Mansbach in the book, illustrated by Ricardo Cortes. "The cubs and the lions are snoring,/ Wrapped in a big snuggly heap. / How come you can do all this other great shit / But you can't lie the fuck down and sleep?"

Film rights have now been optioned by Fox 2000, and Canongate has snapped up UK rights in the title. It's "definitely not a book to read to your child", said the publisher, but "it will resonate with anyone who has ever spent 20 minutes, 40 minutes, four hours reading 'just one more bedtime story'."

As the father of a child who simply REFUSED to stay in her bed when she was little, I can say that I would have totally bought this book, AND probably read it to her as well.

Of course with my luck she would have told everybody about her sleepy time book, just like the time her mother bought her the book "Where Did I Come From?" when she was four years old, and she proceeded to tell ALL of her little preschool friends where THEY came from.

Boy that was fun meeting with the head of the preschool!

What has the President done for the LGBT community lately? Funny you should ask.

Courtesy of the Human Rights Campaign:

From signature achievements like passage of the law to end "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" to administrative changes throughout government, President Obama has done more to improve the lives of LGBT people than any President in history. The following is a compilation of many of the actions taken by the Administration on LGBT issues.

Regulatory and Policy Changes

• The Department of Health and Human Services (HHS) adopted a regulation ending the ban on HIV-positive visitors and immigrants.
• The State Department reversed a Bush Administration policy that refused to use a same-sex marriage license as evidence of a name change for passports.
• The Census Bureau overturned the Bush Administration's overbroad interpretation of the Defense of Marriage Act and agreed to release data on married same-sex couples along with other demographic information from the 2010 Census.
• President Obama issued two Presidential Memoranda (in June 2009 and June 2010) directing federal agencies to extend whatever benefits they could, under existing authority, to the same-sex partners of federal employees. These include sick and funeral leave, long-term care insurance, travel and relocation assistance, child care subsidies, and certain retirement benefits. The State Department extended numerous benefits to the partners of Foreign Service officers, including diplomatic passports, access to overseas medical and training facilities, inclusion in housing allocations, and access to emergency evacuation.
• The Office of Personnel Management (OPM) added gender identity to the equal employment opportunity policy governing all federal jobs.
• The Department of Housing and Urban Development (HUD) proposed regulations recognizing LGBT families for federal housing programs, prohibiting discrimination against LGBT people in accessing federally-insured mortgage loans, and requiring HUD grantees to abide by LGBT-inclusive state and local antidiscrimination laws. HUD also announced it would conduct the first-ever nationwide study of LGBT housing discrimination.
• President Obama issued Presidential Memorandum in April 2010 directing HHS to issue regulations requiring all hospitals receiving Medicaid and Medicare to prohibit discrimination in visitation against LGBT people. HHS issued regulations that went into effect in 2011.
• HHS rescinded provisions of a Bush-era rule which allowed health care providers to refuse to provide any health care service or information for a religious or moral reason.
• The federal Prison Rape Elimination Commission proposed national standards to reduce sexual abuse in correctional facilities, including standards regarding LGBT and intersex inmates. In early 2011, the Justice Department proposed regulations to implement those standards.
• HHS's Advisory Committee on Blood Safety and Availability reviewed the lifetime ban on blood donation by gay and bisexual men, concluded that it is a "suboptimal" policy that screens out low risk donors and called on HHS to conduct research to support a move to a policy based on risk behavior, regardless of sexual orientation.
• The Department of Justice issued an opinion clarifying that the criminal provisions of the Violence Against Women Act related to stalking and abuse apply equally to same-sex partners.
• The Department of State revised the standards for changing a gender marker on a passport, making the process less burdensome for transgender people.
• The Department of Labor issued guidance clarifying that an employee can take time off under the Family and Medical Leave Act to care for a same-sex partner's child, even where the partner does not have a legal or biological relationship to that child.
• HHS revised its funding guidance around abstinence-only-until-marriage sex education programs, requiring that recipient programs are inclusive of and non-stigmatizing toward LGBT youth, and mandating that they include only medically-accurate information.
• HHS awarded a $900,000 grant for the creation of a national resource center on LGBT aging issues to Services & Advocacy for Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual & Transgender Elders (SAGE). HHS also awarded a $13.3 million grant to the L.A. Gay and Lesbian Center to create a model program supporting LGBT and questioning youth in the foster care system.
• At the request of HHS, the Institute of Medicine (IOM) issued a lengthy report in March 2011 detailing the range of areas in which more research is needed on LGBT health needs.
• In March 2011, HHS sent a number of recommendations to the White House for policy and regulatory changes that HHS could undertake to improve the health of LGBT people, including: collection of LGBT health data, guidance for states on including LGBT families in federal welfare programs, and guidance for states on protecting the financial resources of a same-sex partner when his or her partner enters long-term care under Medicaid.

 Support of Pro-LGBT Legislation

• The President signed the Matthew Shepard and James Byrd Jr. Hate Crimes Prevention Act into law.
• The President signed the Don't Ask, Don't Tell Repeal Act of 2010 into law, after including DADT repeal in the 2010 State of the Union address and brokering a compromise with the Pentagon that honored both the legislative calendar and the Pentagon process.
• Administration officials testified in support of ENDA in House and Senate in the 111th Congress.
• Administration officials testified in support of the Domestic Partnership Benefits and Obligations Act, which would extend spousal benefits to the partners of federal workers, including health insurance and insurance benefits.
• The Department of Justice announced that it would stop defending lawsuits brought against Section 3 of the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA), because the President and Attorney General believe that provision is unconstitutional.

Damn, That IS impressive!

Now EVERYBODY has their pet causes.  I have already identified the repeal of NCLB as one of mine, but so is making sure that everybody is protected from discrimination in this country. And this includes the LGBT community.

Actually it especially includes the LGBT community!

Now I have always, even since my days back in high school, supported gay rights. But now I have a very personal reason for wanting to see this particular group of people protected.

It just so happens that one of them is my daughter.

This President is the first President that my daughter was old enough to help vote into office.  It is nice to see that he is repaying that support by looking out for her.

Thank you Mr. President.