Bristol Palin addresses her bizarre weight gain during DWTS in her book of excuses and outright fabrications. Oh THIS ought to be good!

I actually thought I would never revisit the DWTS weight gain issue again, but Bristol's ridiculous excuse for why she gained weight on the show is too stupid to leave unaddressed. (I can't believe the Palins think they can say such outlandish bullshit and never get called on it!)

Here is the actual page from her book:

 I know it is small and hard to read, but I wanted to give you an actual screenshot in case anybody thought I might be exaggerating.  Below I have typed out the pertinent portions.

The ironic thing about this whole thing is that my critic was a self-described public advocate against bullying...as long as she agrees with the victims politics, I guess. After a prominent gay suicide, she went to the airwaves and criticized bullies...while at the same time publicly stating that a 135 pound girl like me was obese. But because I was  already active and fit, the show's schedule wasn't new to me. I did gain five pounds over the course of the show, but I was still thinner than a lot of girls my age.

Bristol continues in the next paragraph:

So let me address this issue head-on. I'm not skinny and I'm not fat. I'm a girl like everyone else who lives in this era of airbrushed photos who's trying to maintain a healthy lifestyle. And do you know what? I'm succeeding. Everyone talks about how strenuous the Dancing with the Stars workouts are, but they're nothing compared to any high school basketball practice. Though one contestant famously lost forty-one pounds, I have to assume it was because she was not too active beforehand. Because I was an active kid before I started, this show actually took my activity level down a notch. That meant I was not going to be seeing rapid weight loss. Which was fine with me.

Okay rather than simply pick apart what Bristol is saying I think I will let the pictures, which surely she knows are still available on the internet, do my talking for me.

First let me point out that the weight Bristol brought with her to DWTS was NOT the weight gain left over from having Tripp, as evidenced in his May, 2009 picture taken while she was promoting the Candies Foundation.

Bristol May 6, 2009

And as for her so-called athletic lifestyle before DWTS, Bristol did not attend regular school after the beginning of 2008, and was certainly not on any basketball teams since then. She went back for a short time and graduated from Wasilla High, on May 15, 2009. (Once again NOT participating in any organized sports during that time.)

And as evidence of her rather sedentary lifestyle (Or perhaps something else) here is Bristol in May of 2010.

Bristol May 5, 2010

So I think it is pretty well established that Bristol was NOT engaged in any rigorous sports activities directly before starting with DWTS.

Here is a picture of Bristol's very first rehearsal with Marka Ballas on September 2, 2010.

DWTS first rehearsal September 2, 2010.

I am not going to make any disparaging comments about her weight, other than to say that for a nineteen year old she is NOT in what I would consider athletic condition. Anyone disagree?

So taking this rather out of shape nineteen year old and having her compete on what has been called "more of a weight loss competition, than a dancing show," one would logically expect Ms. Palin to start toning up and dropping some lbs.

But instead this is what she looked like a twenty six days after she started working with Mark Ballas on the dance routines.

Bristol September 28, 2010.

And here she is in October.

Bristol in October, 2010.

And again in November, at the end of the show.

Bristol November 23, 2010.

Now I am not going to claim I am an expert on female weight loss, but I WAS a personal trainer and I can tell you that what these pictures demonstrate is physiologically impossible. Unless Bristol has some very dangerous thyroid gland problem, there is simply NO reasonable explanation for this weight gain while practicing dance steps for up to eight hours a day. None.

And by the way, just to spike the ball a little here, DWTS also had as contestants gymnast Shawn Johnson, football player Emmet Smith, figure skater Kristi Yamaguchi, basketball star Rick Fox, speed skater Apolo Ohno, just to name a few of the athletes that appeared in past seasons, and they ALL demonstrated an increase in their overall conditioning and a decrease in their weight. Are we to believe that THEY led sedentary lives before they started rehearsals?

In fact as far as anybody can tell, EVERY constestant on DWTS lost weight and got into much better shape due to the strenuous rehearsals involved, with ONE notable exception.

Bristol on the View November 24, 2010.

So Bristol perhaps you should have just left this topic alone, because bringing it up in this book is only going to have people talking about what they believe was the REAL cause of your bizarre weight gain on DWTS.

Bristol at 32 weeks pregnant with Tripp

Levi Johnston is NOT the only person to receive the "Palin treatment" in Bristol's new book. This is going to get ugly.

Courtgesy of ABC News:

Palin writes that the first time she met the 26-year-old daughter of Sen. John McCain, she "ignored us during the entire visit." This was just before Senator McCain introduced Sarah Palin as his running mate. Palin adds that she "had a sneaking suspicion I might need to watch my back."

"Every time we saw Meghan, she seemed to be constantly checking us out, comparing my family to hers and complaining," she writes. "Oh the complaining."

Cindy McCain, the senator's wife, also rubbed the eldest Palin daughter the wrong way.

"I'd never seen people with so much Louis Vuitton luggage, so many cell phones, and so many constant helpers to do hair and makeup," Palin writes, adding that the would-be first lady looked "like a queen" and held "herself like royalty."

Palin writes that she was shocked when the senator's wife offered to be a godmother to her unborn baby: "I had just met her and I wondered why she wanted any type of guardianship over my child."

Palin also shares not-so-fond memories of her 2010 stint on "Dancing With the Stars," where she and her professional partner, Mark Ballas, finished in third place.

"I noticed some of the contestants rolled their eyes when they realized we'd survived to dance another day," she writes, adding that some of the contenders voted off "literally would not speak to us or acknowledge our presence."

Holy crap!  This is another mean girl diatribe about ALL of the people the Palin family feel did them wrong.

I think that Bristol/Sarah is making a BIG mistake in going after Meghan McCain however,  That girl can write and does NOT turn the other cheek when she feels she has been wronged. 

I look forward to McCain's scathing response to these comments.

As for the cast of DWTS, come on guys you have a huge scandal to break about Bristol Palin.  Just contact the National Enquirer and unburden yourselves! Do it for you country.

For anybody who ever doubted that Bristol Palin was JUST like her mother, I think you can put those doubts to rest..

Heading to Arizona? Need a place to stay? Call Bristol Palin at...wait...what?

Courtesy of AZ Central.com:

Bristol Palin's metro Phoenix home is for rent. Asking price $1,400 a month.

The daughter of former vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin purchased the home in the city of Maricopa for $172,000 earlier this year.

Bristol's mother Sarah bought a north Scottsdale home for nearly $1.7 million in May. Maybe Bristol plans to spend more time at her mom's house, which is about an hour drive from Maricopa in the far southeast Valley. Plus Sarah Palin's house has a nicer kitchen and swimming pool.

Bristol's home has two-and-a-half bathrooms, five bedrooms, a three-car garage but no swimming pool. It was built in 2005.

Daughter Palin, well-known for her stint Dancing with the Stars, has her home listed on the Arizona Regional Multiple Listing Service.

No animals allowed in the rental, unless they are assistive for handicapped individuals.

Well now, isn't THIS interesting news?

Of course it could just be because Bristol is about to start her reality show with the Massey brothers and is not going to be spending very much time in Arizona. But in that case you would assume she would still want to keep it available for visits, and would NOT want strangers in her home unless she was planning on being away for at least six months, or even a few years.

Or perhaps that was the plan all along, to buy this place as a future rental and only live there until her mother could finally get HER place, and then move in with her.

Whatever the answer you KNOW that is will be the opposite of whatever the Palins say it is.

Kyle Massey and Bristol Palin are NOT dating. Gee, really?

Courtesy of Rumor Fix:

RumorFix can confirm that the two did become friends while on Dancing, and they are shooting a reality show together, but anything beyond that is completely fictitious.

RumorFix, unlike some people, decided to check up on this rumor by reaching out to Kyle's mother, Angel. She tells us the Enquirer report is bologna.

"They are not dating," she reveals while laughing. "They're good friends. I understand the media wants to push sales or whatever, but no, they're not dating."

Angel goes on to say, "Both of our families gelled during Dancing with the Stars. Sarah would be in the audience cheering for Kyle, and we'd be in the audience rooting for Bristol. We all became close."

Mama Massey adds, "The Palins are really funny, nice and genuinely warm to us."

Like I said the other day there is no way that Bristol and her mother are fighting right now, Sarah needs her family to rally around her as she launches her fake Presidential campaign, and there is NO way that such a nice young man as Kyle Massey would ever lower himself to date a Palin.

Especially one that would so dramatically change her appearance in an attempt to hide her low self esteem.

Well THIS is a very interesting picture from DWTS on Tuesday night.

Courtesy of Getty Images:

You know this is one of the reasons I am NOT buying this story about Bristol rebelling against Sarah.

For one thing many of the Grizzled Mama's recent Fox News interviews have been filmed outside near Maricopa, we know that SOMEBODY had to help Bristol while she recovered from her dramatic plastic surgery (Or at least pay somebody to help her), and this book deal of Bristol's has Klondike Kardashian's fingerprints ALL over it.

I actually even had an argument with one of the National Enquirer guys over that story.

My gut feeling is that Bristol is firmly in the Palin camp now, after her disastrous reunification with Levi, and that is probably where she will stay.

I mean hell look at her, she is even dressing like her mother now!

Anyhow that is my opinion, any dissenters in the group?

Palin tweets a bright shiny object to divert her faithful away from paying attention to the Frank Bailey book.

From the Twit's Twitter account:

Tumultuous world gotcha' flummoxed? Divert w/tuning 2 unifying, sweet competition; Dancing w/the Stars TEAM BALLAS competes in finals tonite
1 hour ago via Twitter for BlackBerry®

Now as many of you know I speak fluent Palinese, so allow me to translate:

Ooh look dancing! Much better than dumb old book about dumb old emails! STOP THINKING ABOUT THE BOOK, AND WATCH TV U FLIPPING IDIOTS! #SHIT

As a matter of fact the Flying Monkeys are so worried about this book that they have started doing pre-emptive strikes all across the internet:

Palin aides also pointed to previous ethics charges against Bailey during his service to the ex-governor’s administration, as well as an ongoing investigation by the state attorney general’s office over the emails Bailey included in the book. Additionally, SarahPAC spokesman Tim Crawford highlighted Bailey’s book cover, which is a modified image. The original photo was of Palin standing next to other governors at an RGA event, not next to Bailey.

“Frank Bailey was the only member of the Palin administration to be found to have acted unethically – twice,” Crawford said. “He is currently under investigation again by the state attorney general. Then, as the administrator of certain email accounts, he acted unethically by appropriating account information he was entrusted to protect.”

“Gov. Palin suspended Bailey and refused to hire Bailey when he sought a position on her vice presidential campaign staff and later with SarahPAC. Mr. Bailey has an axe to grind and abandoned truth in his book. The cover of the book tells this story, two completely different photos twisted and Photoshopped to create a fraudulent image. The book belongs on the fiction shelves.”

Oh, tomorrow is going to be SO much fun!

And remember it is not too late for you to share in that fun.  Just click here.

P.S. Did anybody even notice that Palin had one of her sycophants write a Facebook post for her to put her hoof print on today?  I was going to write about it, but there was absolutely NO Sarah Palin apparent in the writing, so why bother? 

I will bet big money she has never even read the thing yet, and I KNOW she does not understand what it says!