Trig Palin may be the fastest gestating fetus in the history of humankind.

So Sarah Palin went from having virtually NO stomach, to having, what appears to be, a beach ball under her top in only five days.  WHAT an amazing woman!

No wonder some in the GOP want to tap her to be the next President of the United States. Just imagine how quickly she could give birth to an army of hard ass, take no prisoner Alaskans, ready to be sent over into Iran if they were to start some shit!

Do you know that the average gestation period for a mouse is 21 days, for a hamster it is 16 days, and for an opossum it is only 13 days.  Yet no where else in the world of mammalian gestation does pregnancy only last five days, EXCEPT apparently in the wilds of Wasilla.

But hey I know what you are saying, "Gryphen that is NOT fair!  That picture of Sarah is from Elan Frank's video and it might just be distorted in some way." 

Really?

Well here check that out for yourself. (Start video at the 4:25 mark.) Do you STILL think it's distorted?

But okay just to satisfy those who are still desperately clinging to the idea that Palin DID give birth to little Trig Paxson Van Palin (Yes, that means you Frank Bailey!), let's take a look at the gestation from March 14 to April 13, exactly 30 days apart.

(By the way science fans, it takes a rabbit 32 days to make a little baby bunny, and you know how fast they like to "pop them out.") 

As you can see Palin went from "What, you can't be pregnant?" to "Wow! That's quite a gut you have there!" Even if you are NOT a believer in "babygate' Doesn't that strike you as just a bit peculiar?

Now I am going to assume that most of you reading here are in fact human. 

Then I am going to go out a little further on a limb and suggest you may have been around a pregnant woman or two. 

And I am further assuming that there may even be a FEW of you who have had the "pleasure" of pushing a tiny human out of your body your own darn self. (Yes ladies I know, excruciating pain, buckets of disgusting amniotic fluid, screams of agony, I have been there. That is why I put the word "pleasure" in parentheses.)

It is to that last group to whom I wish to pose this question:

"How in the hell does a woman, any woman, grow a belly THAT big in only 30 days?"

Go ahead, I await your answer.

How are you doing?

Got anything?

Nothing?

Well here perhaps Brad Scharlott and Laura Novak can offer you a possible clue.


Psst!  Here's a hint:

And by the way, if ANY of you are dead certain that Palin DID give birth to Trig, Laura Novak is quite interested in talking to you.  Just send her an e-mail.

I mean, after all, isn't it time to FINALLY clear this up once and for all?